Lost (again)

I sometimes think that my life is an array of being lost and then I (try to) find my way back. There’s always a time in my life when I am just sitting and talking to myself, ‘What am I actually doing with my life? Is it the thing to do? Should I keep doing it? What am I going to do next?’ Since it keeps happening for over and over again, I realized that at this stage of my life, I still have no clue about what I am going to do with my life. So I decided to ask suggestion from a friend. I asked her because for me, she seems to be the right person to ask. I found her inspiring, able to make a nice twist on her life’s episode and stay positive in a very unlikely circumstances.

It’s not surprising when she said that I haven’t found what I am going to do with my life. So true. The next thing she said was that I have to try to figure out what I like. It does not have to be something big or extravagant, just anything. Anything that if I am doing it will make me happy, not anybody else. Anything that could make me stick to it even though that no one will care nor even appreciate it. She gave me a very good example of herself. She likes being creative, and by all means, she can always channeling her creativity/idea into her day to day job or her hobby. She’s teaching in the university, so she designs the experiment for students in such way so her creativity can be applied. Moreover, she has personal project that keeps her busy to be creative (one of them is this challenge :p, she said she does not care if she does not have ton of subscriber on her YouTube channel or the viewers are only few, she likes doing it anyway). 

Now, come down to the basic question, what am going to do with my life?

Meh.

Meh.

Meh.

Meh.

Meh.

When I feel lost like this, I am doing what a normal human being will do: look for justification ;p. I like to justify my situation with others.  It makes me feel better when I read some articles and find that some people out there feel the same way too, I am not alone and I am normal :))))).

On top of everything, I like to surround myself with some of positive vibe, and this time,  that vibe comes not only from Ted Talk (cliche, rite?) but also from  commencement speech. I heard about how good it was Steve Job’s speech for Stanford graduate in 2005, but I’ve never had any chance to watch it. When I checked that video out, yes it was good *teary eyes* Other than Jobs, so far,  I just watched some speech from Ellen DeGeneres, J.K. Rowling, Jim Carrey and Atul Gawande. The speeches are all good, they have their own points, and they come with different but (a bit) similar messages. People have different path, failure is inevitable, we are lost sometimes, great people don’t fail less they just rescue more, etc, etc.

As Jobs said, ‘Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.’ He added, ‘And the only way to do great work is to love what you do,’ he said. ‘If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.’

'Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.'

Of course, the punchline will always, ‘Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.’  

*teary eyes*

*garb tissue*

*sending prayer for Jobs*

So, what am I going to do with my life? Pfftttt.